Saturday, January 28, 2006

How long is a cookie lifespan?

At my job a few days ago we had to swing by Garden Ridge to get some decorations for my job. So while I waited for my co-worker to purchase some cheesy hearts and such, I come across these little beauties of modern human design. Well, more or less. Spongebob Squarepants cookies. You know you have seen them, admit it. Well, there are also King Kong ones too, to promote the new Peter Jackson masturbation released last December. (I could not find a picture of this cookie on the Web, unfortunately.) Can you imagine how empowering it must be to be a kid and have a Kong Cookie in your mitts AND be able to bite his head off? Whoa!

But have you ever thought to give those cookies being fed to youths across the planet a good inspection? The icing looks almost petrified onto the shortbread, and the shrink-wrap is almost as if it were melded to the cookie by Brundle Science Experimentation. As I further inspected it, searching for a bakery, lo and behold it's distributed by some company out of some mid-western state, but in nice all CAPS font, so obvious and therefore almost incognito are the words: PRODUCT OF CHINA. Wow. Even our cookies come from China. So this cookie was created way over on the other side of the globe. By the delicate touch of a bakers hand? Probably not. Oh, how that $1.99 bit of shortbread must have traveled, hell it's seen the world! The things it must have seen. That is one world traveled cookie. I'm not too sure I would want that bit of globalization in my mouth. Imagine all the preservatives in that sucker. It would probably outlive me! Cookies aren't supposed to do that, damnit. Anyway, as I further investigate the pseudo-delicious Kong cookie, I see the expiration date: 11/01/06. Wow! This thing is built to last too! And considering how it was probably made in August of 2005, in preparation for the movie release, this is one well aged cookie. How long is a cookie lifespan anyway? I wonder what the cookie to human years ratio would be? 30 = 1? 40 = 1? 7 = 1? That is something for a scientist to figure out.

I then think of some family in line, with a cart full of fake plants and flowers and crafts, trying to satiate their kid who is hollering "gimmie gimmie" and eyeing that Spongebob or Kong sugary goodness. Without even thinking the parent buys it, unwraps it and stuffs it into the kid's mouth. Instantly pacified. It seems like we are okay with all of this. What's next? Microwavable meals for our kids because we are too tired from a long days work to cook a simple 3 ingredient dinner? Oh, wait, too late huh?

A link regarding WTO and NAFTA . I recommend watching the video of Lori Wallach.

Movie: A Tale of Two Sisters. A wonderfully creepy Korean fairy tale set in modern times that will surely be an American remake and then totally suck.


Daniel said...

Mmm, cookies....mmm, mass-produced ick... this was indeed inspirational.

I surfed in via Lisa and felt the need to respond in my own scrawl.

Fringe Element Enthusiast said...

Excellent Daniel!
Thanks for reading...and responding, lately it felt like this was just my own private journal!

Anonymous said...

update the damn thing and you wouldn't have to tkeep thinking that it is your own private journal!!!!

Anonymous said...

That movie is actually really good. I just watched it. Two thumbs up!