Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Pied Bumper Stickers of Hamelin

So does the display of having one of these stickers on your car mean something? I am never quick enough to judge that said stickers, particularly OBX, are silly, annoying and what? I don't know. Some close friends of mine have them on their cars. I really can't fathom the need for it. Is it the same thing as when I put punk rock band or MST3K stickers on my car? I like to think that I at least put some unique thought into my stickiness. The way I see an OBX sticker is the same way I see people who tune into American Idol with such fervor.

--Oh, and by the way on that. How cattled are we as United States citizens that my beloved Richmond has a parade for the third place contestant, and thousands of people show up (the same people who wrote in grease paint on their auto windows, "Vote for Elliot!"), but try and protest an unjust Iraqi War lie, MAYBE hundreds show up? ---

I want to call them brainwashed but I know that is just too strong a word and I know some of them really aren't because they are my friends. And you know there are plenty of annoying car stickers out there: My kid is an honor roll student, Git-R-Done, My kid beat up your honor roll student, Power of Pride. Oooo. Now there is one that trumps them all when it comes to gilded ignorance. I want to know how many good christian souls have that on the bumper of their SUV or immaculately undirtied suburban bound F350 Ford Truck? The Power of Pride. Even the alliteration is hopelessly Bush-esque in its childish king of the mountain type stance.

We are living the Power of Pride; NASCAR is the biggest "sport" in the country (imagine the riots and protest if we had to stop NASCAR during an oil shortage), the new Disney Pixar film Cars, about NASCAR, is sure to be a summer hit. I can just feel the needle going in my arm every time I start my car. We are glorifying our addiction and covering it with a bumper sticker to hide the track marks.

Don't these good christians know that Pride is the father of all the seven deadly sins? Think people, before they start selling you bottled water from the melting glaciers.

Still, maybe if everyone that owned a car with an OBX sticker on the bumper went to the Outer Banks at the same time, I could take a vacation too; in my own town devoid of lemmings.

Listening: Melt Banana

Reading: Rats by Robert Sullivan

3 comments:

Daniel said...

...and this is why bumper stickers, as a rule, irritate me. Either the sentiment is cloying and trite (in 1986, my parents gave me a bumper sticker that I was of course obliged to use reading "Homework Causes Brain Damage"), or it's a measure of snooty one-upsmanship (e.g., OBX, RB or real Eurostickers to imply that you and your car have in fact lived in Albania. I must admit to having a W&M sticker). Or, perhaps, it's something that's legitimately amusing, but whose humor will grow stale long before you need to get rid of the car. Or it's something that's absolfargin'lutely hilarious, but so esoteric that only you and the other six band members will understand.

Marcus Marcus said...

Welcome back F.E....

"...town devoid of lemmings .'

The Ace of Spades?

Lisa said...

Having taken a 10-year sabbatical from the Outer Banks, I intially thought "OBX" had to do with racy obstitricians. And that disturbed me.